Thankx for e gift.. its very nice love it very much muacks muacks muacks!

10.22 pm now... sld be watching soccer @ this time.. but v v stress..
1st week i'm already liddat.. ppl are asking abt my grades.. as usual.. wad to expect?
Its either Bs or Cs ... but 75 - 90 % its C la.. so no needa ask~
i told someone to aim for A.. haha! so weird...~~~
its like i'm gonna crash under all these pressure.. or m i really giving myself too much?
this sorta pressure had never surface after my O's (esp chem)~ but now e pressure
is coming frm e module (applied chem!) again.. my fav? or my jinx? i reallie dunno~

i hafte be strong! hafta be! like my mum said.. "ying ze tou pi qu du"~
i hope i dun crash under the stupid pressure now~ worrying abt many things now~
yeah yeah tok abt studying hard.. i bet i'll slack soon..

i hate this i hate this!! i'm regretting my decision every second...i'm so tired~
i'm worried, i'm scared, i'm frightened` help help sos~

still decide which module to study..maybe i'll leave e one i hate and love most for tml..
another day crash~

[[ its weird enough that i am able to convince the whole world of something,
[[ but i fail to make myself believe in that

often it is so weird that we seem to be very happy on the ]]
outside, but we are actually feeling opposite in the inside ]]

Bernard John (my mentee @ queenstown pri ask me this morning, how come
his english is so good but his maths is horrible whereas for e rest of his friends,
classmates, schoolmates maths is so good but 4 eng, it e opposite.

i actually got stuck @ e question that he asked me; mainly becos i din expect this
type of question to come frm him, and i haven think abt that question b4~
after much thought to that question (arnd 3-5 mins cos i dun have tt much time
to think abt it) i answered, cos . . . u have sufficient practise for eng and u neglected
ur maths!.
In an instant, he replied, "no lorrrr, i nv practise english one leh."
I answered back, "u speak eng @ home den."
Bernard and Ralph answered togther, "no~", and bernard added, " i speak
phillpino @ home, cos his mum is a philipino."
"Okay" was my answer... i kept quiet after tt; Bernard din want to give up
he asked again, "why huh~? tell me?"
"Ur mum or dad eng is v good, hereditary" came my answer
"No lo, his mum call his name like berrrrd nardddd" was ralph answer,
and bernard agreed with him with laughter
And at last, i gave bernard his answer, "it's god gift for you", after hearing this
he stopped probing.

I find it weird, now that i have recalled, that this came out frm me..
if god gift for us is being gd in a certain subject, i rather dun have it cos
i am a good for nthing @ e moment, i rather be... (can't think of any for the moment)
its till is weird.. and weird enuff.. i find myself feeling guilty after scolding bernard
and ralph and tried to treat them nicer... maybe time's up.. have to undo my
evil deeds (haha!)



```waiting for 3.25 am to come.. plz do.. i want to take a break```